6 Ways to Get a Good Night’s Sleep for the Midlife Everygirl
“Let her sleep, for when she wakes she will shake the world.” ~Napolean
Sleep. The final frontier for the midlife everygirl.
When was the last time you slept soundly for a 7 or 8 hour stretch? Was it just last night, or has that type of consistent slumber become a distant memory for you?
If it’s been awhile, you are probably familiar with the midlife era where our sleep patterns become a jumbled mess. Falling into bed exhausted, only to experience mind-racing, night sweats, acid reflux and restlessness. Sound familiar?
I still remember the good old days of getting a restful night’s sleep. I’d set the TV timer to shut off in 30 minutes, then snuggle under the covers to the soothing voice of Jimmy Fallon riffing through his nightly monologue. When the alarm sounded at 6 AM I would pop out of bed, ready to go.
Then sometime within the past year or so things began to change. Now sleeping requires more effort and forethought than ever before.
Enter one of the many perks that come with being fortunate enough to make it to your 50’s.
Now you might find me fighting to keep my eyes open while watching Netflix on the couch at 8:30, but when I get to the bed my mind jumps on the hamster wheel of spinning thoughts that jolt me back to mental alertness. Its nightly dive down rabbit holes of everything from actual fears and anxieties to borderline ridiculousness can keep me up and restless.
When I do finally fall into an exhausted sleep, my body may then choose to trigger that delightful wave of internal heat that radiates from my core. You know the one.
The hot flash that can culminates in a sheen of sweat over every inch of my skin causing the sheets to stick to me like a wet shower curtain.
And then I might have to pee. Ugh.
I’m not alone, right? Are you right there with me?
Why Does Sleep Become Difficult in Midlife?
With age, experience, and wisdom comes a plethora of additional thoughts, worries and responsibilities. As the matriarchs of our families, we are the ring leaders, holding things together and keeping all of the plates up in the air while balancing on a ball.
Once perimenopause moves in, she shakes things up physically, mentally and emotionally. She causes old favorites like alcohol, caffeine and sugar to harshly turn against us, especially at night.
Work, spouses, parents, kids, the world, our own health, so many hormones bumping around (or sudden fluctuations of certain hormones, like estrogen and progesterone), so many things to do and people to worry about. Is it any wonder we struggle to put our mind to rest and get some Zzz’s?
Be mindful that all day long your healthy (or unhealthy) habits are preparing you for your nightly recharge. You could be sabotaging your sleep by doing little things through the day that aren’t even registering on your radar. Stress, a poor diet and a sedentary lifestyle can set you up for a night of discomfort and brain zoomies.
But you can take back some control and get a more restful night’s sleep.
Experts recommend that midlife women get 7-9 hours of sleep each night to maintain optimal physical and mental wellness.
Are you close to that?
While there are several sleep aids out there from melatonin and magnesium to prescription medications, there are some natural (and free) techniques you can implement first.
Let’s start with a few strategies that you can try on your own tonight.
6 Strategies to Help Ease Yourself into a Good Night’s Sleep
Set the stage ahead of time
When I became a single girl in my mid-40’s, my first act of real independence was to transform our bedroom into my bedroom. I repainted, refurnished, redecorated and added a feminine vibe. I made it into my sanctuary. Even if my day was hectic, my peaceful sanctuary brought calm and tranquility to my evenings.
Create a peaceful environment in your bedroom. Make sure your room is a place where you can feel calm when you enter it. Decorate with your favorite colors, pictures of those you love, and things that bring you happiness. Scent diffusers can create a gentle, spa-like atmosphere. I just bought one that has Bluetooth and can even play music. If you feel calm and tranquil you are more likely to move into a relaxed mode, right?
Build a beautiful bed. Invest in quality bedding. It makes a huge difference in the sleep game. Think of the last time you stayed at a nice hotel and go for that. You want a pretty high thread count: 500 or above. Hotel quality sheets and duvets are all over the internet and can be yours at the click of a button. They are not just for special occasions anymore. Girl, you deserve to have them on your own bed now!
Pick a perfect pillow. Are you forever flipping your pillow over to get to the cool side, or folding it in half to bulk it up? Pillows have come a long way in the last few years. You can get foam, feather or formed right to your neck. Check out different pillowcases, too. Silk cases claim to help minimize wrinkles and keep your hair in check.
Use your experience, read the reviews and even poll your friends. It may take some trial and error, but it will be worth it. The right pillow can do wonders for easing you into a comfortable sleep and helping you wake up ache-free.
Keep out the clutter. It’s difficult to relax when you’re stepping over piles of dirty laundry and moving teetering stacks of books to make room for your phone charger. Of course you may have a junk drawer (or two) but tidy up the main areas to help create an environment of control and calm.
Setting up your sleeping environment to be a soothing sanctuary of comfort, pleasure and tranquility can help ease your mind and signal your brain that it’s time for quality sleep.
2. Keep It Cool
Several months ago my peaceful nights started being interrupted by intermittent temperature changes. I would wake up with a sudden hot flash that caused me to kick off every sheet and blanket in misery, only to pull them all back on minutes later while my teeth chattered. Night sweats can be triggered by a variety of things, but we can take some steps to help minimize them and sleep cooler.
Rethink the thermostat. Keep your environment as cool as possible and turn down the thermostat, or open a window. The recommended temperature in your bedroom is around 66-68 degrees at night.
Dress lightly. Keep your sleepwear light and breathable. Skip nylon and synthetic fabrics, and go with lightweight cotton nightshirts instead. Or, better yet, sleep in nothing at all.
Step in the shower. Take a cool shower before slipping in between the sheets. Rinsing off the day and cooling your core can be very refreshing. Incorporate lavender or other scent that tranquilizes your mind.
Find a fan. Use a fan to keep the air circulating. Many ceiling and floor fans now come with remote controls, so you can adjust them as needed. The white noise/gentle hum they create can be beneficial, as well. The monotonous sound accompanied by the cool breeze can lull you into relaxation.
Lighten Up the bedding. Ditch the heavy comforters or duvets. Layer a light cotton blanket on top that can be folded back easily if it gets too warm. Check out elevated bedding options, like bamboo sheets, that claim to wick away moisture and contribute to coolness.
Body and room temperatures are major factors in maintaining quality sleep, and as our systems adjust to our midlife refinements, we may need to take a few extra steps to help keep things cool. But trust me, it will be worth the effort.
3. Sip Selectively
Who doesn’t love a refreshing drink of… (fill in the blank with your favorite here)? Just keep in mind that some beverages will lull you into a deceitfully drowsy state at first, but once that sugar or caffeine metabolizes in your system a few hours later, it can trigger your eyes to pop open and the brain to begin its run through the carousel of random thoughts. White wine anyone? Afternoon coffee?
The beverages we consume during the day and into the evening take on a new importance during midlife. Water becomes more crucial, and the chemicals in many processed drinks may suddenly affect us in different ways.
Drink all the water! It is recommended that midlife women drink at least 48-64 oz of water each day. Are you getting close to that?
Water is vital to your body. You are made of 50-70% water yourself, and drinking it can flush your system of waste, deliver nutrients to cells, lubricate your joints, protect your organs and help maintain your core body temperature.
With so many cute cups that you can accessorize and carry around all day, it’s never been easier to avoid dehydration.
Limit (or eliminate) drinks with sugar and caffeine. Caffeine is a stimulant that can linger in your body for up to 10 hours, so try to avoid it past noon. Sugar is a hot flash trigger that makes consistent sleep difficult.
Avoid (or limit) alcohol. Sure a glass of wine or a cute cocktail is a delightful way to relax and wind down after a stressful day, but just remember that having much more than that could cause the night-owl syndrome. Over-doing it with alcohol can also cause the unpleasant effects of dehydration to hang with you well into the morning, making you feel miserable and gross as you try to get on with your day.
We consume liquids all day long. When choosing a beverage there are so many choices in front of us, and it’s worth your effort to be mindful about you pour into your body. Water should almost always be your go-to beverage, but when you choose something else, choose wisely. Everything in moderation, girl.
4. Eat with Intention
Remember your mom telling you that you are what you eat? Well, now we know that she was sort of right, don’t we? Think about eating consciously, and learn to recognize whether you are actually still hungry, or just eating to eat. Mindfully be aware of eating for pleasure. Slow down and savor it.
Eat for life. The midlife everygirl diet should consist mostly of vegetables, fruit, and low-fat dairy, followed by moderate amounts of whole grains, legumes, nuts, seeds, fish, and poultry. Focus on foods that provide fuel and gut-health, as well as pleasure.
Avoid heavy foods. What should we be avoiding? Foods that are heavily processed, fried, spicy or heavy. These types of foods can cause your digestion system to go into overdrive just about the time you lay down, resulting in uncomfortable or even painful acid reflux.
Eat early. The timing of your meals makes a difference. Our digestion system needs several hours to comfortably digest a meal before sleeping. In fact, several European countries know that holding the main meal of the day early, like at lunchtime, and then having a very light one in the evening, is best for maintaining energy and weight control.
Intermittent fasting research also indicates that closing your eating window earlier helps your body start burning those calories more efficiently, resulting in a calm system that is ready to embrace a good night’s rest.
Reduce your portions. Eating out can easily contribute to overeating, especially if we are drawn into lively conversation with friends and family (as we should be). Just remember that restaurant portions are sometimes ridiculously large and don’t get sucked into the hype. Pride yourself in getting a doggie box and make another meal of it.
If it’s not delicious, just take a bite and leave the rest. How about this little morsel of mind-trickery… use a smaller plate. It simply looks like there is more food on it due to the ratio of the two. The brain is an easily-suggestible mechanism, my friend!
Moderation is the Key. You already know all of this, right? Of course you do. Consider this your girl-friendly reminder. Food and beverages can be vehicles of tremendous pleasure and should be enjoyed however you desire. Just enjoy them within proper limitations and early enough in the evening that you have plenty of time to allow your system to go to work while you are awake and prevent it from disturbing your sleep later.
What, when and how much we eat determines so many aspects of our physical wellness, and even contributes to our ability to sleep well.
5. Skip the screens…all of them
Did you know that TV, phone and computer screens can keep your brain stimulated for another 30 minutes after you turn them off? Crazy! My single-girl habit of falling asleep to the TV was only effective at keeping my brain waves bouncing around and drowning out my own thoughts. (Which I welcomed at the time.) Now that I am in my 50’s and no longer sleeping alone, it only benefits me (and us!) to keep it off at night.
Tame the TV. What you watch before you go to sleep matters. Intense dramas can linger in your thoughts and cause unrest. (Game of Thrones taught me that little lesson.) Keep your final shows on the lighter side. Turn it off early and read a book for a while instead.
Some experts even recommend that the TV completely stay out of the bedroom, and that space should be preserved solely for sleep and sex.
No Phones/Computers/iPads. No scrolling social media in bed. No returning texts in the dark. No answering emails from your sleep chamber. It keeps your brain stimulated and does not promote peace.
Some of those same experts I referred to earlier also recommend charging your devices in an entirely different room to remove all temptation to return your attention to the screen.
Of course, some of you may use your phone as your alarm. I get it. Compared to the blare of my old alarm clock, the delightful little chime of my I-Phone starts my day out with a less aggressive mindset.
And as a mom, I also feel better having my communication device handy during the night… you know, just in case. But otherwise, I don’t touch it and try to forget that it is there.
Do what is best for you. If you just can’t pull yourself away from your screen at night, move it out.
6. Empty your brain
Does your brain seem overwhelmed with thoughts, questions, worries and fears at night? Is your mind gearing up for the big race to begin as soon as the lights go out?
I’m right there with you. My mind tends to wait until the day is done and my head hits the pillow to reboot and get warmed up. As my eyes close, the thoughts and ideas begin to swirl around in a tangled hurricane of randomness. Finding a way to get my feelings out helps quiet my mind.
Write it down. Try a brain dump, in which you simply empty everything from your mind, like dumping out your purse on the table. Keep a notebook or journal next to your bed, grab a pen and get your thoughts down on paper. Write out everything that is spinning around in your mind, anything that has the potential to keep you up.
Put it in list form, question-answer, or random ramblings… It doesn’t matter as long as you transfer it from your mind to the paper. Don’t worry about grammar, punctuation or spelling. Just write it down and let it go.
Share your thoughts. Communicating your thoughts with someone else can help you focus your fears and anxieties, and keep them from feeling so overwhelming. Tell your partner what your worries are. Perhaps they can be an ally in problem solving, or just as a listener. Give your worries to God and rely on your faith to ease your mind.
Is it time to seek professional help? Psychologists are trained to listen and help guide.
There are several strategies that you can try out on your own, but if you need a more personalized approach there is also the option of online coaching. Click here to learn more about the science of the sleep and mental health connection, and how a wellbeing coaching could be another option for you to consider.
Sharing your thoughts outside of your brain can help reduce stress and anxiety because you are no longer keeping them bottled up inside of you all on your own. Name them. Focusing your feelings helps you get control. This can even help improve your productivity and organization. Bonus!
Nighttime comes around at the end of every single day.
I want you to look forward to curling up in bed at night, ready for rest, relaxation and a good recharge.
You have more control than you think. And you have at least 14-16 hours to set yourself up for success. So be intentional. Plan for it.
The benefits of a good night’s sleep for midlife women are immeasurable.
It can be the difference between a productive day and one that is fraught with fatigue.
It is an antidote for stress and anxiety.
It can contribute to a clear mind and a positive outlook.
It fuels you with energy and eases your emotions.
It is another key to your mental, emotional and physical health.
Share this post with a midlife everygirl you know who could use it, and comment below with a sleep strategy that has worked for you.
With so many benefits for your mind, body and soul, it is well worth your time and energy to prepare for that night of rest and rejuvenation. At the end of a long day and on top of everything you’ve accomplished during the daylight hours, you deserve to enter into a tranquil night of restful sleep.
And that, my beautiful friend, can help you be positively limitless.
